A Regular Person’s Guide To Apple’s New Phones (And Other Useless Shit)

Oh people I urge you all to read this – it’s absolutely sensational.  Mostly about the iPhone – oh and the company itself but a few bon mots about the Apple Watch2 – I’m still p*ssing myself laughing!

18kphr5ib4nv8jpgI’m not even going to copy and paste it – just click on the link to read the article by Kyle Walker – that’s him – in all its glory if you like the sound of any of these quotes:

  1. Well, well, well. Apple, Inc., a cash-hoarding operation that occasionally does online strip shows
  2. Mario is on the iPhone now. That’s basically it.
  3. But yes, please, let’s entrust the company that’s been shipping wads of soggy toilet paper glued to an aux cable for the last 15 years with the future of headphone technology because they bought Dr. Dre a new wardrobe.
  4. The number of dicks drawn per person will reach an all-time high once Apple releases this software to the world.
  5. Apple didn’t say anything about how great the video is on this camera, so I say it’s safe to assume it’s total shit.
  6. Oh ho ho, the picture of your genitals you wrap around your wrist is back.
  7. Basically your old Apple watch is dogshit, is the point I think.

Kyle Wagner https://kinja.com/kylenw take a bow son!

..and the link again is this! 


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